Philbert Slowlove is the President and National Director of the "Specially Able Alliance Against Defamation", a special interest group representing the mentally disabled (or more impolitely, retarded people).


While Slowlove appears to have some kind of mental disability/illness, he is smart enough to not only lead an organization, but also use his activism to extort money from people (much like Walter Sweetlove and Rollo Goodlove).


After Rollo lied that Riley is a "special needs" child in order to excuse the boy from the wrath of Sweetlove's gay protesters, Slowlove visits the Freemans and asks Riley to appear as the poster boy for a Special Youth Olympics race. Riley is reluctant to pretend that he is mentally handicapped, but has no choice but to go along with it. After Riley offends everyone present by saying "retarded", Sweetlove leaves him at the mercy of a mob of retarded kids.