- "My name is Grand Master Bushido Brown and if you ain't got no money, this is about to be a real short conversation, you dig?"
- —Bushido Brown
Grandmaster Bushido Brown was a martial artist (karateka/swordsman) who worked as a professional bodyguard for wealthy clients.
Bushido Brown's first appearance was on the first season episode Let's Nab Oprah playing the body guard of Oprah. He was first said to be hired to protect Oprah when she gave negative comments about beef (Rummy believes it may have been about mad cow disease), which the Beef industry did not take so well. In response, the Texas Beef Industry sent hired mercenaries to assassinate Oprah. Brown easily defeated all of them; only one man so much as laid a hand on the door Oprah was behind, and there are rumors that Bushido Brown removed and kept that hand.
Bushido Brown gets word that intruders have entered the studio in which Oprah in taping her show. He goes out only to see Huey Freeman claiming to say that Oprah is in trouble. Bushido Brown does not believe him and easily defeats Huey, only to get word that the real intruders have entered and rushes off into the studio.
He appears on Season 3 episode 5 Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy, where he is hired to protect the Freeman family although he starts attacking people who aren't from Stinkmeaner's gang. Robert starts to get angry from Bushido's actions and eventually Bushido comes to tell Robert that the toilet doesn't work. Robert finally fires him, and on the way to the door they find Stinkmeaner's gang. Robert changes his mind and tries to rehire Bushido, but Bushido tells him that he will charge double, to which Robert agrees when he says."Okay, fine. Dammit." Bushido fights Stinkmeaner's gang until he is beheaded by the flying guillotine (Lord Rufus's weapon). Finally the police arrives and arrest the gang for murdering Bushido Brown.
Although he was "the greatest black karate man to ever live" (and one of the greatest martial artists of any race period), Bushido Brown had very little interest in true martial arts honor; and was basically only in it for the money he made as a bodyguard, and the thrill of putting his combat skills to good use in a fight, such as the competitions he took part in (like the Kumite) to establish and affirm his dominance as a karate champion.
Bushido was incredibly rude, arrogant, entitled, and greedy, seeing himself as some sort of unofficial royalty to those who hired him. Robert learned this the hard way, as Bushido not only charged very high fees as a bodyguard, but also forced Robert to buy lots of luxury items for Bushido's personal use (with Robert's own money). When Robert tried to fire Bushido, he refused to protect Robert and his grandsons from the Hateocracy (who had just arrived in time to try murdering them again) unless he immediately agreed to rehire him with double the protection fees.
- He is based on the late Jim Kelly's portrayal of "Mr. Williams" from Bruce Lee's movie Enter the Dragon and wears sunglasses and facial hair much like that of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's character "Hakim" from Bruce Lee's movie "Game of Death"
- He also resembles Afro Samurai, Black Belt Jones, and other characters of similar archetype.
- His fighting skills even surpass Huey's, which was shown in Let's Nab Oprah.
- In "Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch" he participates in the Kumite along with Luna.
- Let's Nab Oprah (debut appearance)
- Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch (silent cameo)
- Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy (death/final appearance)